Mahal Kita
A simple little love story about my greatest love.
If you told me three months ago I would fall in love with this guy, I would have said, "You're crazy, I would never." I was the type of girl that had high standards. I wanted a guy who was filipino, a nurse, faith in God, family oriented, selfless, and had a good heart.
He wasn't filipino or a nurse, but he had such a genuine soul and good heart that opened my heart once again.
When I first met him, I was attracted to his physical appearance. I did not expect him to be so good looking and get my attention the way he did. I thought to myself, how am I going to do this? But you know, I never thought anything could happen anyway.
Somehow the more we started to talk, the more I started to have a crush on him. But, I knew I could never actually get the opportunity to be with him. It felt nice knowing I could talk to him about my life. I believe my favorite trait about him was when he remembered things I talked about. Whether it be a few days, or weeks ago, he would bring things up that I said to him. He impressed me without even knowing, and I just couldn't help but get happy whenever he was around.
Time after time, he flirted with me and I would get awkward and just laugh about it. Like the time I mentioned to him that I watched Beauty and the Beast by myself ( since my friends and I didn't see next to each other) he said he would've watched it with me. I was in disbelief because why would he want to hangout with me?
One day, he called me about work related stuff, and I answered right away. He teased me saying that I was expecting his call, when in actuality I was on my phone and his name popped up and I knew it was important. During the week of his birthday, I gave a small and memorable gift. I gave him a shaker bottle with packets of pre-workout and protein powder with a Starbucks gift card inside. I was so excited to give it to him, but I did not want anyone to see. So I had to tell him I had something in my locker, and to close his eyes. I handed him his gift and he was so happy and thankful. He gave me a long and tight hug, and I was definitely kiligs af this time. Slowly but surely things started changing from then on.
I remember when I started telling one of my close friends about how I have a huge crush on him. But, I would always push him away because I wasn't ready to commit. I always thought of the reasons why we couldn't be together, but I never considered the reasons why we should or could be you know? She told me to go for it, to see what happens, and to enjoy the time I have with him. A week or two after, he ended up holding my hand one day and told me we could make this a "real" thing. I remember telling him "maybe" and said I would let him know through text in a couple days, I just need to think things through. I remember him telling that he's just waiting for my answer. And from that moment, I knew this was something real.
I texted him about something, and he ended up calling me right away. He remembered the time I told him I used to model and I sent him the pics that were so throwback. He was speechless because he said I looked amazing. That was the first time he ever complimented me and I couldn't help but come back to work happier than ever with a glow on my face.
From that day, I started to flirt back to the point where he asked, "What would you do if I kissed you?" I told him, "I wouldn't mind it." Then, a couple minutes later, he went and kissed me and I was so shocked and surprised and had butterflies in my stomach. I had to take minute to process if I was dreaming or not.
Two days later, he called me and asked what I was doing, I told him I was heading to class. He asked me when I would get out class and I said 1:15 and he said, "Perfect, I get out at 2. Want to meet up?" I hesitated because for a moment I was nervous and happy at the same time. Why did someone like him, want to hangout with me? I ended up agreeing for us to meet up because I knew he was actually worth my time and it felt nice knowing he was willing to drive 45 min to see me. We walked around the mall nearby my school and just talked. We literally walked around the mall for two or three hours getting to know each other and that was probably one of my favorite moments with him. I love the fact that we were able to talk and just chill without any hesitation. I told him what my type was, and he asked me, "why would you like me? I'm not your type?" I told him, "Well you're not my type but you have qualities that I want in a guy. You opened my eyes to a different perspective. You are hardworking, good looking, selfless, caring, and kind."
I invited him to meet my nursing friends. When it was the day of my last final he met up with my nursing friends and I and we went out to a Mexican bar. My friends were all hispanic and I was didn't understand much. So, he pretty much was my translator for the night. Honestly, that night felt so surreal. It was my first time out with him and seeing him drink. We ended up dancing bachata and I just couldn't help but get lost in his eyes because I couldn't believe we were dancing together. I couldn't help but feel like I was falling slowly for him. For once in my life, I felt that this could be something so real, and so right. That everything that I went through was worth it, because in the process I met someone like him. Someone who always made sure he called after work and asked about my day. Someone who made sure I was happy all the time, and made sure that whenever I was sad would be there to listen. Someone who made sure I knew he loved me, and trust me I knew and I was so happy.
A couple days later, you told me, "I love you." The moment he said those three precious words my heart dropped because I was in disbelief that someone like him, could love someone like me. And I said, "Don't say that." I didn't want him to say it just for the moment. But, he told me that I was falling for him. In my head, I knew slowly but surely he was right. A couple days later, he told me that he was falling for me hard. To the point where he told me that he is in love with me. I couldn't believe it. I was scared to admit that I was falling for him too. But, he knew I was falling. I was scared of falling in love with someone again. But, with him he made me see the worth in myself. He made me see the love that I truly deserved. A love that was worth waiting for.
Our days of spending time with each other consisted of long talks in the car, about us. That was my favorite trait about the two of us, we could be sitting in the car talking about us and our life, and that was okay. I may not have spent countless hours out with him, but I cherished every moment that I had with him. I loved the day when we went out to the park and just walked and talked about our life and relationship. I'll never forget when him and I were in the gazebo in the park, and we were sitting down, holding hands talking about how he wished we had more time together. I think that was what I loved most about him, he was always willing to plan time with me. Something that my past boyfriends didn't do, because I did most of the planning. For once in my life, there was someone who asked me what I wanted to do. I told him I wanted to go the city. He asked me what I wanted to do there. If I wanted to go to the bars, sight seeing? I said I always wanted to go the museums. The perfect tour guide just because he knew all the museums, and I was amazed because he named most of the ones I knew. I was excited and looked forward to the day.
I remember going back to my car, and he talked to me about wanting to get an apartment just for me to be able to stay whenever I wanted to. Of course being me, I had to bring up that if we were to live together, we would have to get married. That's when the marriage conversation was brought up. We discussed his beliefs and my beliefs in marriage. He told me he believed marriage was a business, and I told him marriage for me is important and sacred. He told me that he would get married, if he really loves the girl.
When we broke up, it wasn't easy for the both of us. I remember him telling me how I deserve so much more and he wished he could be my boyfriend and future husband. I won't go into details why we broke up but, sacrifices had to happen. Time and time again I do wish to be with him. But my motto that I have learned from this relationship, "If it's meant for me, it'll be. And if not, God has something greater in store for me."
In the small amount of time we were together, he gave me so much to remember. And although we parted, I am happy for the person that I am right now. He is one of the greatest blessings in my life. And I can't thank him enough for teaching me the importance of my worth and to guard my heart at all costs. Thank you for being the most caring and selfless individual I have ever come across. Thank you for loving me, for who I am. For accepting me with all my flaws and imperfections. For loving me when I was frustrated and annoyed, and loving me during my awkward moments. For believing in my success with nursing and knowing that I could make it through. For giving me the love and care I deserve.
If there comes a time where I see you again, and good timing comes along, maybe we'll get another chance at love. Who knows? But, right now I have to keep doing what I'm doing to get to where I need to be. My dream is still a work in progress. I'm leaving it all to God. "If it's meant to be, love will find it's way."
Mahal kita, my love.